My first night there, Preview Night, I left the table to go to the restroom. I passed two large men. I am only 5’4, so most creatures over 5’8 register as large with me. Anyway, they seemed large. I walked past them, minding my own business and bladder, and right as I passed by, I heard the one with a goatee say under his breath, “Day-um lookit them titties”.
Hilariously, despite “gearing up” to take photos and tweet about this very shit, I completely blanked on anything to say. I just stopped in my tracks and stared after them. I saw him say something for his friend’s benefit and when they both looked back I gave them my very best Evil Eye (i can look really fucking mean). The first one looked taken aback/surprised, but they kept walking. I was momentarily mad at myself for not chasing them or unleashing a barrage of insults—that’s typically my M.O—but I ended up just laughing. Because WTF. We were a half hour into Comic Con. I realized then too that not everything could be documented, unless I and every woman at the show were to be equipped with a wire. And I didn’t have that great of a budget. So.
In similar news, I found myself walking through the food truck lot over at 1st Avenue, and as I passed a dude who referred to my boobs as “thangs”. I can’t really remember the context but seriously? This time I didn’t forget that I am typically incredibly foul-mouthed and yelled at him, calling him an asshole, without breaking stride. I muttered a “Sorry” to the shocked teenage girl that was standing near me. I’m sure I looked like a total nutcase, but that’s the problem with some women: they’re too afraid to LOOK like a nutcase, so they don’t call out people who offend them. And so a guy will comment on your “thangs” or your ass, and you don’t say anything, so they’ll say something to the next girl, and the next woman, and they don’t change their behavior, because no one is showing them it’s wrong. ***
That was pretty much it, as things related strictly to me. It’s actually sort of sad when you look at a stretch of 4.5 days and you only get verbally harassed twice, and you think, “wow, that wasn’t bad at all!” because you expected worse.
***Update. It was suggested that I was shaming women who may not speak up in regards to this sort of behavior. I just wanna hop up here and say no, that’s not what I’m *trying* to do. To clarify—and this is something the few guys reading this may not get— sometimes it is either not safe to do so, or your brain just sort of…. doesn’t react. I’ve been in that position. While it is my M.O these days to yell at people, I’ve been in a situation where I absolutely can’t. It’s no one’s fault, if they are harassed by someone else, and they don’t react, and yell. I’m not saying someone should be ashamed, or that THEY were wrong. There are some women—some who I actually have talked to—who don’t say anything because they don’t want to look crazy. I’m not saying everyone is like that. I do not mean to group everyone into that “afraid to offend polite society” group. And that’s why I said “some” women. We’re all different, and have been in different situations with different circumstances, and I don’t presume to know any more about anyone else’s past confrontations than they do about mine. I’m sorry if I made it sound like I think anyone should be responsible for their own harassment. It’s not the case.